"Going to the Grocery..."

Well, "went to the grocery" would probably be a better title for this, but those aren't the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.

It was suggested to me over the weekend that the grocery store would be a good place for me to meet the woman of my dreams. Not in those exact words, but that was the gist of it. We talked about a good grocery store to meet such a person at and, as it happens, I already shop at such a place.

Naturally I was a little more excited when I realized I was down to my last Hot Pocket last night and would need to restock today. It didn't matter that I sat through the same traffic light twice on the way there (the lady in front of me was doing her makeup) because I was in hot pursuit. Doug was about to become a babe magnet walking down the frozen food aisle.

Taking special care to look out for eligible bachelorettes as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, what's the first thing I see? My friend who said that was the place to be. Unfortunately, she's quite married. After brief chit-chat I head inside, eyes peeled.

"Oh, I need some tortilla shells." I've gotten to where I attempt my own Barberitos-style burritos at home.* I actually said that out loud, by the way. I don't have much of an internal monologue anymore. If I'm thinking, I'm probably mumbling it to myself. Those shells are at the very end of an aisle at my Publix; an end cap, if you will. Glancing down that aisle, of course, I see another amiga of mine...also very married. She was looking for some fancy tomatoes that Rachael Ray told her to buy. What a good wife.

The rest of the shopping experience was uneventful. All I saw were old ladies and, it seemed like, other single dudes. Maybe they had my idea. Perhaps Friday at 3PM isn't prime time for the lovely ladies to frequent the grocery. Could it be a Saturday thing? At least I got BOGO on cereal. (I can eat cereal 24/7)

Publix: 1
Doug: 0

To be continued...


*This is made all the more important since my Barberitos closed up shop last week. It's a sad time for me. "That's because Moe's is weak!" as a buddy of mine said once. Seems like they may have been a bit too far out in Evans and a lot too far up a hill and out of sight.