Life: It depends on how you look at it.

Q: What do the following things have in common?

An apparently silenced cell phone
A baby turtle scurrying across a four-lane highway
A paper cut from opening my first birthday card
Getting stopped by the slowest train in history

A: They’ve all been part of my Friday morning.

The baby turtle was motoring (as best it could) across River Watch Parkway as I was speeding on by, trying not to be late for work. It had made it ¾ of the way so far, but the opposing traffic lanes were looking bad for the kid from my point of view. I thought for a few minutes of how I think that scene parallels my life. Sometimes I feel like that turtle; just trying to make it to my goal on the other side without being flattened. I feel like I dodge traffic everyday. Sometimes I make it through but I do get smacked around and flattened regularly.

Maybe I’m trying for a goal at the wrong time. But when is the right time? Maybe I need to not go for it during the relative morning rush hour. But what if it always seems to be busy? Maybe I should wait for a quieter time and try when the road is less traveled and there are less obstacles. But what if I want it NOW? The ease of attainment might be greater a little later on, but the goal itself won’t be exactly the same then. It’s so worthwhile that almost any obstacle is worth traversing to reach it.

I’ve had paper cuts before, but never from opening a birthday card. It wasn’t a deep cut – there was no blood – but it hurt like heck and clearly left a mark. I’ve had my share of proverbial paper cuts in my life; some deeper than others.

Maybe that’s a sign that I’m moving too fast. Had I opened the envelope slower, I wouldn’t have cut myself. But who really thinks they’ll get cut until it actually happens? Maybe I’m using the wrong methods in life. If it’d used a letter opener, my finger would have never been in danger and the desired result would have been the same. But what if I don’t have life’s letter opener?

I’ve been stopped by trains before, too, but never one going this slow. Welcome back to downtown Augusta, I thought. Again, maybe I’m moving too fast in life and need to slow down. It did give me time to jot down this list of things that happened this morning, though.

I guess we all need time to pause and reflect on what’s going on around us. If we just keep going going going, how will we ever learn? How will we ever know what’s really happening if we just keep jumping from one thing to the next? Maybe the best thing that ever happened to you is standing right there smiling, and being all he can be, and you’re just not noticing. Maybe the one who truly cares for you, would climb the highest mountain, etc. is still right there but you haven’t noticed because you never stop. Maybe we should all just pause, take a step or two away from our lives, and really assess the situation.

Oh, and the thing that started it all, the ever-silenced cell phone. It’s a fixture in my life, to be sure, but this situation is so commonplace now that it doesn’t surprise me anymore. The only maybe I can think of here is maybe I shouldn’t care. But, I can’t help but care. That’s where my heart is.

Business as Usual

I get ideas for things to write about all the time. I'll see or hear something and think, "man...that's interesting...I should talk about that." That's usually as far as I get with it. I might sit down later in the day/night, if I have time, and try but the moment is gone and I usually can't really remember what I wanted to say.

I may have mentioned it before, or if you really know me you'll already know, but I don't like change. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" are words I live by. I'm also very risk-averse and usually don't step out on that ledge to aim for something grander if whatever I've got now is good with me. Maybe I'm blinded by myself and end up settling for something I think is good but is really just "fine." Maybe there's something that's really "good" or even "great" available and I just need to take a moment and check. Where is this stream of consciousness blog post going?

I originally intended to talk about businesses opening, closing, and changing. I've been working back downtown* now for about a week and a half and I've noticed that things have changed in the past almost three years since I worked down here. I guess the most notable changes I've seen, other than the "Welcome to Downtown Augusta" signs on Broad Street, involve stores or restaurants that aren't what or where I remembered them to be. Who knew the Metro Spirit moved its offices to the corner of Broad and 7th Streets, just across from the Chronicle? Not me. The cute little pet grooming place on the corner by the 5th Street bridge...gone. (OK, that one isn't a big deal, but I always noticed it.)

The main restaurants downtown is known for (i.e. Pizza Joint, Nacho Mama's, Mellow Mushroom, etc.) are still here but Malley's closed its doors. I had been looking forward to walking the block and a half for a morning bagel again. The Monterrey's in North Augusta moved from its first location (originally a Pizza Inn back in the 80s!) to a much larger building across the street (originally a Quincy's back in the 80s!). That's a good move; the other place was getting pretty dumpy and parking was usually bad.

Before Monday night, Cinco de Mayo, I hadn't driven down Washington Road beyond the Steinmart shopping center area since New Years Eve, I think. In four months they totally rebuilt the Kroger there and threw in a Wallgreen's drug store on the opposite corner for me for good measure. How does that happen without me knowing? It doesn't really bother me...but it kind of does.

Is it better to know something is going on or to be surprised by it later on? Would you rather know what's happening or be left with just your over-active imagination to dream up what you think might be happening?

The world doesn't stop moving if we stop paying attention. Things happen when you're not looking. Or, at least, you notice them more when you're not looking and then look again. Gradual change isn't noticed as much and doesn't have near the impact of drastic, dramatic change.

In the same sense that someone has to hit rock-bottom before they "see the light" and make a much-needed change: Does it take the total loss of something/someone to make you truly appreciate it/them? You know, the old "didn't realize what you had until you lost it" deal? Of course, you may finally drop something and realize you're better off. You didn't need that as much as you thought. Of course, I'm always afraid of the opposite happening: dropping it and then it's, "oh, crap...I need it more than ever," but by then it's too late and there's no hope for getting back.

"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone...They paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
-Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows

"A change would do you good..."
-A Change - Sheryl Crow

This random blog is brought to you by Taco Bell, which I had for lunch. Think outside the bun.

*I'm sorry if you're out of the loop and didn't know I got another real job and am back downtown. Let me know if you want to talk about it more.